turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
sarcasm needs its own font
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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