4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
