Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
