remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
