I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize