He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
