4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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