there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
