I heard we made out
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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