Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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