Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
