mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
