Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
50% drunk capacity currently
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
