ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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