he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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