thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
