It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
