she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
