I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize