I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize