i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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