I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
