So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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