FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
