how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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