Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
