I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
