Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
