@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
