thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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