yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
