i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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