the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
