I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
