pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize