my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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