Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
