If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is wine microwaveable?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
