I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
