You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize