You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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