Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
