My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize