Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
