I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
thus making me awesome and them whores
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
