Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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