New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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