just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its about making memories worth repressing
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
