Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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