Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
