I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i dont even know how to be here
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
