is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize