oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
