I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
