the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
