He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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