people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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