the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
