I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
