My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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