i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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