Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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