Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
