I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
