On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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