i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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