now i know why i became what i already was.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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