ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
