His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
